So this is where we begin

For as long as I could remember I wanted to be a lawyer. I don’t really know where that idea came from. We were a family of immigrants to the United States, experienced challenges, and set backs, including living with food insecurity early in our new lives. I fit the smart kid archetype; always picked first for any group projects, always picked last in gym class or any team games.

I was always on the quieter side, a true introvert, even to this day (though the pandemic showed me I am less introverted than I thought). Leaning into my quietness and solitude, observation was a super power; I always saw things. I saw the unspoken things: the way the water shimmers at sunset, the way the leaves dance across the sky with a gentle breeze, the way my parents shared a meal because one of them was “not very hungry,” or the way they argued because they needed to borrow money from family or friends. I saw the things that were not possible for us: joining the school band because a flute was too expensive or new shoes at the start of the school year to avoid the embarrassment of the ones I had. I understood at a very young age the things that were possible because of money, and the pains that could be avoided because of it too. I also understood that I was “smart”, “gifted and talented” and that learning came easy. My brain remains a sponge today, always hungering for new knowledge to ingest. I must have heard through the adults that lawyers make a lot of money. So at my 3rd grade birthday party when my aunt asked what do I want to be when I grow up, I distinctly recall beaming with pride as I said lawyer.

That young boy’s dream came true. Fast forward a decade and I find myself at the age of 40 asking now what? What other dreams did that boy give up to choose being a lawyer? What dreams were rejected or discarded because they weren’t practical or feasible for supporting myself or a family? What dreams did I not dare to dream? What dreams were so out of reach that I didn’t even know they could be a dream?

I don’t know the answer to these questions. And I may never know because I can’t go back and relive the options. But what I do have today is awareness. Awareness of what lights me up, fills my cup, and slaps a smile on my face from ear to ear. This website is part of a journey to learn what can happen when I lean into my artistic side, if I lead with my visual processing, if I chase what sets my soul on fire, and if that awareness can develop a blueprint for a life worthy of living. Won’t you join me as I search for the things that feed my soul?